“Grampa, I need some advice. Did you ever have a crush on an older woman?” – Bart Simpson
“I had a crush on the oldest woman! One-hundred-and-twenty-years old she was. Here’s a picture of her delivering Eubie Blake.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“What happened?” – Bart Simpson
“She fell in with that Guinness Book of Records crowd. Suddenly she didn’t have any time for me. Oh, I wore a fifteen pound beard of bees for that woman, but it just wasn’t enough.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
